Friday, May 30, 2008

Google Calendar to Customers: Eat Shit and Die

Google's calendar application is pretty darned popular, and some may even say useful, but when you dig a litte deeper, the picture becomes much, much darker. In fact, it's one of the most restrictive and ridiculous web apps I have ever seen, in which you must cede control of the very concept of the sequence in which months occur to an irrational and ridiculously outdated naming system. This puts Google in league with a thousands of other drooling halfwits, such as Microsoft, At-A-Glance, The International Bureau of Weights and Measures, NASA, Yahoo, Timex, Casio, Mead, Franklin Covey, Pope Gregory XIII, and everyone else who continues to live under the retarded illusion that it makes sense to -- get this -- refer to the tenth month as "October". It would be laughable if it wasn't so tragic.

I use calendars a lot. Every day, in fact. But I won't be using Google's. No sir. Not until they end their ridiculous charade and let me use my own names for the months of the year. Remember: It's your time, not theirs.

When I tried to ask Google why they were being so soul-shatteringly retarded, I recieved this snippy email in reply:

Thank you for contacting the Google Calendar team. We are sorry you are having problems with the service. However, there are certain parts of the Google Calendar application that are not customizable, and this includes standard names and labels for time-based data, such as the days of the week, months, phases of the moon, and national holidays.

It's as if they want to commit suicide. They won't feel so high and mighty when users realize they don't have to tolerate these draconian, fascistic rules, and start abondoning Google in droves. You heard it here first.

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