Friday, May 30, 2008

Elmer Fudd t-shirt fails to raise the ire of airport security

I am utterly engorged with rage at the useless TSA goons who -- get this -- waved me through airport security quickly and efficiently this afternoon, without stopping me or questioning me, or giving me any trouble of any kind, even though I was wearing my treasured Elmer Fudd tee.

The whimsically ironic shirt depicts Fudd brandishing a deadly weapon, a clear cue to the TSA that the wearer is a potential security threat. You cannot imagine my surprise as the supervisor (Bert K. Trowman, badge # 51106) waved me through the metal detector toward the end of the x-ray conveyor without so much as a raised eyebrow. I stopped in my tracks and demanded an expanation. Here's the exchange, word for jaw-dropping word, as retrieved from my flawless photographic memory:

CD: Excuse me, but what do you think you're doing?
BT: I'm sorry?
CD: Didn't you see my shirt?
BT: What? [what a drooling imbecile! -CD]
CD: My shirt!
BT: What about it?
CD [pointing at the Fudd image]: Ahem!
BT: Sir, there are people waiting to get through here. Can you move along please?
CD [jaw dropping]: Do I have to spell it out for you, Bert? It's a picture of a gun!
BT: Yes, I see that. Sir, please, just keep --
CD: Don't you want to interrogate me?
BT: About what?
CD: My shirt! My threatening, dangerous shirt!
BT: Um, no. Please, sir, I need you to --
CD: Come on! I need to memecast this injustice on my blog!
BT: Memecast? Blog? [He didn't even recognize me! Me, an acclaimed CYleBERty! This guy was a moron! -CD] Sir, please keep moving or I will have to detain you.
CD [eagerly]: Detain me for my shirt?
BT: No, for holding up the security line.

I finally gave up since I had to catch my plane. Hopefully I'll be hassled and inconvenienced by the TSA on my trip back from Toronto so I can self-righteously blog about it. I'll be wearing my Yosemite Sam shirt! Stay cyber-tuned!

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