Friday, June 6, 2008

More on the calendarfight front

For years I have written and spoken at length about the paralyzingly wrong-headed approach taken by the world's calendar makers when it comes to the name of our tenth month: October. I can barely bring myself to type the name without my jaw dropping from the sheer nonsense of it. Think about it: does an octagon have ten sides? Does an octopus have ten legs? Just in case you are one of the criminally insane and dangerously retarded observers of the Gregorian calendar system, I will spell it out for you: the answer is NO.

Octofascists will of course tell you that it doesn't matter. "October retained its name when January and February were added, and it's been in use for centuries," they'll say. To them I say, fuck you. You do not own my time and I refuse to slavishly follow a twisted ideology in which 8=10. Take that to its logical extreme and we are left with nothing less than the Orwellian horror of 4=5:

In the end the Party would announce that two and two made five, and you would have to believe it. It was inevitable that they should make that claim sooner or later: the logic of their position demanded it. Not merely the validity of experience, but the very existence of external reality, was tacitly denied by their philosophy. The heresy of heresies was common sense. And what was terrifying was not that they would kill you for thinking otherwise, but that they might be right. For, after all, how do we know that two and two make four? Or that the force of gravity works? Or that the past is unchangeable? If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable—what then? [George Orwell was a friend of mine -CD]

And in my recent research I've found that that's not even the worst of it. Not only would Octofascists tell you that four equals five, but that nine equals eleven ("November") and ten equals twelve ("December")!

The veil has been lifted, people. Open your eyes to the truth, if you're brave enough.

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