Monday, June 2, 2008

Corky's conversation with Robert A. Heinlein: how it might have sounded

First in a series of my one-on-one conversations with the grand icons of Science Fiction! I'm kicking it off with a jaw-dropping transcript of my talk with Robert A. Heinlein in late April of 1988, shortly before his death at the senseless age of 81.

[Author's note: although this conversation never actually took place, it is based on painstaking research and extensive analysis. Had I actually spoken with RH, I am 100% certain that this is how it would have transpired.]
CD: Hey RH, what's up?
RH: Holy living fuck! Corky Devereaux? Oh fuck! I... I can't believe it!
CD: Oh, Rob. You flatter me. You do.
RH: After idolizing you for so many years! At last you bless me with your presence! I'm not worthy!
CD: Let's talk about your books.
RH [pointing to shelf of books]: My books? You mean these?
CD: Yes! You are so prolific. To what do you attribute your vast creativity?
RH [setting shelf on fire]: These books are nothing but rubbish in your presence! Begone! Burn!
CD: Rob... what are you doing?
RH: All my life's work is but a pale imitation of yours, Corky. I've spent decades in your shadow, in a futile quest to match but a fraction of your brilliance. And now you have come to me... at last.
CD: Well, I guess I am pretty talented...
RH: At last! At last I can die! [dies.]

Next up: my skull-shattering conversation with Jules Verne.

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